Musings on Bicycling and Buddhism

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Strictness of Cause and Effect

Cause and effect are very strict, when you dislike something, even if you thought you didn't show it, it's there. When you like something, even if you think you show no partiality, it's there as well. You make a cause either way and the consequences show up in some form or another along the way. Sometimes they're great, like when your bicycle shop is good to you for being a good customer. Sometimes it's bad, and you don't like what you have to face. So then what?

Face the facts and deal with it.

The only problem is (well maybe not the only problem) is sometimes we don't know what the facts are. Sometimes we only have a vague intuition of a tenuous situation because the parties involved "stand upon the edge of a knife" (Thanks Galadriel...although I do believe Celeborn says this in the book, Tolkein's genius), as it were, and we're all tiptoeing through a field of broken glass in the dark. Far off glimpses of light shed a twinkle, then its out and you don't know where to step, where to turn, how to proceed.

That's where dialogue comes in. Some people will tell you exactly what they think without prompting, sometimes that's great, sometimes not so great. Some people expect you to know, or see something that may be immediately apparent to them but perhaps not to you. It is so obvious why would they need to state it? So they do not speak, not until it is too late, when they can't stand it anymore, then the edge of the knife is quite painful indeed.

These scenarios happen at work, in families, in relationships, you name a relationship - it can happen there.

So what to do? What's this dialogue thing anyway? By having open communication you can learn, you can deal, things can be addressed - even if it isn't news everyone wants to hear. Some people are patient, some inpatient, some tolerant, some not- and on and on - dialogue allows us to bridge those differences so that we do not have to suffer for our differences. And instead can use them to foster a new kind of solution.

A new way forward.
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Tour de What You Will by Jessie Calkins is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License